Permulaan Yang Baru

Assalamualaikum.....

Waaaahhh.....dah lama xtulis blog....kesian dgn blog aku yang dah terabai untuk kesekian lama....dah berhabuk2 dan bersawang dah ni...nak kena clean up n update balik... Anyway, sudah sebulan berlalu... Hari ini 1 Februari 2012.. hari Wilayah dan juga Hari Lahir Ayahanda ku tersayang yang ke-59 tahun... Happy Birthday ayah...terima kasih kerana membesarkan anakmu ini ...terima kasih untuk segala2nya........

Anyway, today aku decide nak deactive account fb... xtahula kenapa tapi setahun sekali aku akan deactive akaun fb aku. Lagipun akhir2 ni nak rasa nak cut off dgn dunia luar...nak mencari ketenangan sdikit.. Mental dan emosi aku agak kurang stabil skit. So many things happen and i have to get rid of it.. I need to breath the fresh air...  Akhir2 ni juga aku terpaksa membuat keputusan yang drastik.. Call maxis centre to block the odd and crazy phone number which non-stop ruined up my life.. Seriously this man is really crazy and psycho... tak tahan aku dibuatnya.. hampir setiap malam mengacau aku... bleh mental aku nanti... Dan aku juga ingin memohon maaf kepada seseorang.. Mungkin dia sedang tertanya2 ke mana aku menghilang.. (klau dia wondering la) Mana tau dia sedang berbahagia sekarang ni ke...huuuu... Ape pun, aku ingin tujukan lagu Yui-You khas untuk dia... Maaf banyak2...kalau aku teruskan conversation dengan dia.. i'm just hurting myself more... I Dunno why.. But i think this is the answer....

“I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do...I'm sorry I can't help myself, I think I'm in love with you again...” Am I??? I just can't believe it....

For me.....

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”

Tapi ape yang mampu aku lakukan hanyalah pretend that nothing is happen.. even dalam hati aku sedang berperang dengan perasaan... Whatever is, aku akan tetap support usaha dia..walaupun dari jauh...walaupun kadang2 ia melukakan hati aku sendiri...Mungkin aku harus berpegang dengan kata-kata ini....
“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”
 Last words from me....

“Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.”

 Semalam terdengar lagu A Thousand Year by Christina Perry.. Tetiba mata bergenang... Hati jadi sebak... What the 'heck'...  tak tahula kenapa dengan aku ni... makin tenat agaknya.... Anyway, last but not least... here's the lyrics....

"A Thousand Years"

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more